I've been very LC not full on NC because of my younger sister still living with Nmom. Last year I reached out to my Nmom a couple of weeks before mothers day to ask if she wanted to get together and celebrate. She said she had plans with her then boyfriend and wouldn't be able to meet. Fine. I make plans with my step mom (who is amazing and wonderful) and to visit my boyfriends mom as well (also a fantastic woman). Day of I get a text asking when we are getting together. I reminded her she told me she was busy and I explained we made other plans but might be able to get together later in the evening. Nothing. No response. We'll we know shit is going to hit the fan soon. Next day she texts me asking to meet up with me alone sometime soon so we could talk. I agreed to meet at a public place of my choosing. We meet at a local coffee shop, lots of people around, she won't drag this out in front of strangers, right? Wrong. She wanted to know why I don't celebrate holidays with her anymore and why I'm deliberately ruining them for her. She wants to know exactly why 'we are not as close as a mother and daughter should be'. I asked her, 'really, you want to do this now, here, with everyone around?' 'Yes, I do, because I care about you' well she got what she asked for. I didn't hold anything back, not any of the abuse, the horrible things she said and did to mean including threatening to kill me with a knife. I got every excuse in the book, that wasn't me that was Ex-Step dad making me do it, it was a hard time for me, that didn't happen, I don't remember that. She was crying, making a scene and just about everyone was starting at us. A few people actually got up and left because it was so uncomfortable. I didn't care. I held back everything for do long that it just came like a flood. She asked if we could ever have a relationship, I said it will take a very long time for that but she needed to start with a real apology. Her response was 'I can't handle this right now, I can't handle hearing my own daughter thinks I'm a monster. So I'm sorry, I'm sorry that you think of me that way and that you think I ruined your childhood, I have done my best and this is all I get from you.' I got up and left.

As for mothers day, I'll be spending it with people who are actual mother figures to me, who I care about deeply and who genuinely care about me.