Honestly, I could not partner anyone who treated me the way your husband is treating you.

He treats you like this because he thinks he has the power to.

I'd go scoop up the kids and leave until he sincerely apologizes.

You know why your anxiety lives at a 10? It's your husband. He's got you so beat down emotionally that you probably think that you're the problem.

He needs to go to therapy and anger management classes, because that's what he's doing. Whatever anger he feels he saves and takes out on you by berating you and talking down to you. Your his partner and instead of helping you his first and only instinct is to shit on you so he can gleefully rub your nose in it.

Do you think he acts like this at work? Does he talk to anyone else like he does you?