The sleep disorders must really suck. Now that I think about it, I think Stephen Fry also has cyclothymia and various sleep disorders. I'm pretty sure he talked about it in his address at the Oxford Union.
As for the deleting, I'm worried I might've already been doxed, and law school admissions people see disorders as liabilities unless they're convinced you have your shit under control. It makes sense since law schools are high-stress environments that can easily aggravate existing conditions. Idk, maybe I'm being overly paranoid. I'm pretty sure they don't care enough to keep tabs on my profile, so if I don't post much on those subreddits they might never read this. Eh what the hell. I might keep the post up for now.
Thanks for the encouragement! I'll probably always feel insecure but it's nice sharing experiences with someone who knows the struggles of trying to live normally with a bipolar disorder. It's super impressive that you managed to accomplish everything you did while having to work around these issues.
More than the interruptions in my education, I regret the way my disorder affects my social life. It's isolated me from other people and ruined some of my friendships. My social life is almost non-existent. I also don't vibe well with a good chunk of people (especially the popular, "normal," outgoing type), and I'm pretty sure a lot of that is on me. My disorder isn't entirely to blame, but it certainly doesn't help. And then there's the ever-present fear of relapsing. How do I know I won't relapse at a really important time like in law school or at a job? It sucks. Lastly, how am I going to find a partner who understands and knows how to deal with all this baggage? I don't know if I'll ever have a successful romantic relationship because of my disorder.
Anyway, I'm headed to bed. Hope you get enough sleep too haha. It was great talking to you random smart stranger! Have fun with SuperCollider~
P.S. Prof. Kay Jamison wrote a great book called An Unquiet Mind where she details her experiences living with a bipolar disorder. You've probably already know about it though. She also writes about her experiences being married with a bipolar disorder in Nothing Was the Same (beautiful review here: