I just realized, the only friend I have left is the kid who got beat up by his alcoholic stepfather that grew up down the street from me. He's pretty smart/successful now. Bought me a big birthday cake when I was homeless.

I've noticed that a lot. How the friends I had when I was little all had issues. Dads & moms left or separated. Just about every woman I've ever gotten involved with had bad things happen to them. Dad or mom's boyfriend. It all has to do with what happens to people when they're really young. I was six or seven when I lost my dad. I can still remember looking out the window crying for him to come back when I was at the babysitter with my brother. He said we were going to go to a baseball game. It was cruel what my family did to me. I understand that they didn't like him. But constantly bringing him up when they weren't happy with me or something, they didn't do that for us, they did it for themselves.

I'll get back into the swing of things eventually. Even if school is complicated right now, I have plenty of other ways of proving to people that I'm worth having. I'm not worried about that. I've never struggled because of the academics. Maybe some people just aren't supposed to have a happy family and everything like that. I really wanted that though.

My biggest priority is the politics. I'd give up just about anything to have back again everything I've lost. Except that. I've seen too many people suffering needlessly by now. I can't fix everything. But I can help. That's something I can do.

Life will be boring & inglorious for a while. Never would have thought a couple years ago I'd be working fast food still.

Being alone hasn't ever bothered me. I always have things to do that interest me. I'm just very hurt is all. Very sad.