This happened a few weeks ago but I always miss these threads.
So I workout at my apartment complex's gym, which faces the pool. The pool setup is pretty baller, not gonna lie, and with the gym right there, shits dank.
As I'm walking into the gym I see what I assume is a typical bro in the pool with a beer and his phone nearby. I live in kind of a "yuppie" area so I think nothing of it.
So I get to work and I'm around 1/2 way through my rountine when these dude comes in. Well he's never not a bro, he's the gayest dude I've ever seen. I mean my brother is gay so I'm no stranger to the community but this dude was flying the flag high.
He comes into the gym and asks if my charger is plugged in by the water machine. I say no and figure he's just thirsty (it's texas, shit gets hot) and grabbing a drink. So he goes back out to the pool.
A few minutes later he starts knocking on the front door. The gym has badged access and he left his key in the place so I start walking over to let him in and this dude straight up blew a kiss at me. Like. A kiss. To another man. A stranger at that.
It caught me so off guard I just stopped in my tracks for a second, but eventually let him in. He kept asking me stuff at this point and I'm realizing I think he's trying to pick me up. I suddenly feel so bad for all the ladies at the gym who are just trying to workout and getting hit on all the time.
I ignore him basically and go back to continue my sets. Then his buddy comes in and they are just chatting it up around the corner. I mean neither of these dudes are wearing gym clothing at all. The kiss blower is just in trunks and his pal in jeans/tshirt. I'm like, why the hell are these people just chilling in the gym?
So I'm like w/e and just about finished with my sets. I grab the smith machine to squat in (I KNOW). I load up my weight with my ear plugs in, not really paying attention to these dudes. Just as I'm about to get under the bar I hear this snickering.
This fucking dude is directly in front of me on the treadmill. On all fours. Crawling at like 2-3 mph, giggling like a drain.
I literally couldn't even. Naturally I finished my set and evacuated the area as soon as possible.