Since I subscribed to this sub, I am so happy and I am all over this stuff, so my apologies if I'm flooding you all with stuff you already have dealt with. I guess I'm just getting started.
I can vent about relationship issues here, right? Sorry if that's not the case! But here goes:
I try to talk to be boyfriend about feminism. I of course make an effort to point out issues that face men too, and I don't devalue what he says. I try to get him interested and engaged. Thing is, he is attentive when I discuss feminist issues, but doesn't engage. He listens, but doesn't say much of anything. He isn't very talkative to begin with, but we have certainly had civilized debates before (I call welfare programs "social support" while he calls them "handouts"). He is certainly capable of a discussion.
It's just getting to a point where I get really frustrated (inwardly) because I feel like I'm not having a conversation with him. It tends to be one sided, so just me talking, and don't like it. I will pause and ask if he is following me or implore him for his opinions, ideas, thoughts, beliefs, but he doesn't really give. I've talked to him repeatedly about how I feel when I don't get any feedback (note: I make an effort to communicate openly often, but he is slow to do the same; I don't slight him for it because he is a guy who has been conditioned to hide his emotions). I want a discussion and he knows that. I have encouraged him to read about it and I've had him listen to Tedwomen talks (he didn't know much about feminism before me). I don't know what to do. Of course I don't want to break up over just this! (Note: We have been together about a year and half, we are both in our early 20's, and we are both from the southeastern US but I have lived in the northwest).
I should also point out that since about February of this year I've been heavily educating myself on feminism, which I had never known much about before (what spurred this is the constant sexist comments on Reddit, believe it or not). I am constantly learning new things, getting happy, getting upset, and needing to talk about it. Maybe I'm being a bit over-zealous. I don't want to just sit here and blame him. I might be getting too upset, but hopefully that will subside, right? What can I do about this? And another thing, I am in the SE US right now and my friends are in the NW, so I am not in as much contact with my feminist/liberal friends as I would like. Maybe being in closer contact would take a load off of me. I talk about this stuff with my sister, but no one else I know in my area (in the conservative SE, not even my mother) would be receptive about the things I talk about. But in any case, I would really like to be able to talk about this stuff with my SO. I think openly talking about your SO's feelings and opinions and beliefs and so on are really important to a relationship.
I just have a lot to get off my chest. I don't know exactly what I want to get out of this post. I am aware that this is a complex set of issues and I know there is no short answer. I'm looking for suggestions I guess? Has anyone else experienced this?
I just wanted to take a load off but I wouldn't dare go to r/relationships or r/twoXChromosomes so this is my "venting" in this sub.