Abusers in the kink community tend to be ostracised. Now that being said, taken out of context the intentions of the participants can be missinterpreted by outsiders. And by outsiders I mean people not part of that particular relationship. If you are interested (since you said you are not yourself a kinkster) please bear with me a second: - Role-play plays a big part in most relationships. And generally the terms Master and Slave aren't thrown around randomly. The terms of the relationship are agreed upon by both parties, and safety MUST prevails, hence the importance of safe words and honesty. - The reason I was saying this case can be taken out of context is that it might just be role play. It might not, but it might well be, and only the person on the receiving end can judge that. If you were that person then I don't know what that guy was doing since you are not yourself a kinkster (blame 50 shades of grey shudders) - In the kink community, we tend to be very tolerant of how far the role play goes, which might look like extreme mental and physical abuse to others. What we are wary of though are unsafe behaviours. In the kink events I participate in, if someone says "red" you stop everything you are doing and check on them (some people even have several safe words, e.g yellow for "hmmm getting close to the limit"). This works if you trust people to use the safe words appropriately (not pushing beyond their limits too far) and respond to safe words appropriately (like I said, stop the scene, give after care, etc.. What is relevant to the situation). - People from outside of the kink community might think that BDSM is a place where abusers thrive... But it isn't. Because BDSM requires trust and respect, otherwise it doesn't work. Otherwise it's... Abuse. And we don't take that shit very well. God knows we have a bad enough reputation.

The reason I went into a bit of detail is because I have seen in quite a few places people using screens of kinky conversations and demonising the Dom or talking about the Sub like she was a victim/ should treat her problems with self esteem. Now as a Sub I find that patronizing (I know you weren't doing that, I know. I guess I went on a general rant because I am tired of being judged).