Luckily we’re child free so I won’t ever have to deal with him as a father. We are very aware that having children would destroy our relationship.
As much as it feels gross and motherly to say: I did cut him off from the internet and his games for a time for refusing to pay for it, and he did get more productive towards that time, enough so that I paid the internet bill when I could. Luckily he stayed productive and has kept the apartment at least moderately clean. Not to my level, but I can’t exactly expect that.
He’s sworn that he will never put me in this position again, and I have to believe that this was a difficult enough time for him as well that he never wants to go back to it. I have been very angry these past four months and did not exactly make life easy for him.
He’s going to pay the rent he owes, as well as an additional month, to give me the chance to rebuild my finances. He’s offered to pay more but I’m worried about giving him any leverage because part of me doesn’t trust him.
He definitely told me that if I had been the one to not have a job and not be able to pay rent that he wouldn’t have treated me as well as I treated him, and he’s ashamed of it. He wants to treat me much better no matter the situation going forward.