I've heard that we are subconsciously drawn to people who are similar to our parents and I believe that. I also think that some of us attract abusers unwittingly. We aend out cues that can be picked up on, low self-esteem, people pleasing, not having a support system etc.

I can't speak for everyone but personally, I found it incredibly difficult to leave abusive men because I didn't have family I could rely on. It always felt like I would be alone in the world without them. And having been abused by my own mother, it was easy to just keep going back to those men like nothing had happened the week before. It is a vicious product of the abuse and it's not your fault.