Reading these makes me really glad for the arrangement my ex-husband and I have with our 4yo, and the relationship we have. When she isn't with one of us, the other will express to her, "I miss you! But I'm so happy you're having fun with Daddy!" or "You're gonna have so much fun with Mommy this weekend, that's so exciting!" Usually when he has her, he'll Facetime me with her before bed and she can see that I'm in anguish at home without her. Last night via Facetime I showed her some art I was working on while she was with her dad, which thinking back, reinforced the fact that I really am just happy when she's happy, and I mean that sincerely. She knows I miss her, and she understands the concept of missing Mommy or Daddy, but her dad and I are friends, and talk often. When he comes to drop her off, if he's holding her, I'll wrap both her dad and her up in my arms and say, "I love you guys," or "We love Daddy!" I know it can't be 100% easy for her to be carted around to different places so often, and to be with grandparents, or to never be in the same house at night for more than 3-4 days in a row, BUT at the same time, whoever's house she's at, she's having a blast and laughing and playing and getting so much love. And she also knows that ANYTIME she wants Mom or Dad, she can just call one of us up and we've always promised to stop what we're doing and talk with her, or, if she really misses us, we'll rearrange plans IF we can to go to where she is and spend time with her, or even pick her up for the night. That's never happened though, where she's requested to leave where she is. (She normally is having so much fun playing that she's reluctant to leave haha.)

So...yeah. I worry about my little girl so much and want her to be happy, but I know we're also trying to show her that you really can do anything you want to do in life, and anything you need to do, and still have love, lots of love, and connection. You don't always have to play by society's rules.