I realized I'm a fucking asshole

Not a single one of us has any choice BUT to move on. Every day. But in your case hurt, offended or upset feelings are obviously the issue. If you were that heavy into drugs, I'm guessing your behavior was the issue. Do you remember what was going on?

Every person is different in hitting that point. Every person also has a history embedded in their brain and heart regarding how much abuse or pain or whatever, they can take going forward. I've been around the block with addicts, dysfunctional behavior and people who tend to bring out the worst in people. My Mother died alone and Cancer stricken bc of her drinking and traumatizing people. Except for me, no one was with her when she died. My brothers had long severed their ties with her. I do not regret being with her but I have to admit the pain and heartache she caused me was not something I'd wish on anyone. And now I understand why my brothers distanced themselves from her to preserve their own lives.

I guess I say that to tell you, you cannot expect people to willingly get sucked into your funnel of destructive behaviors. They still love you and care, they just don't know how to be in a relationship with you. Unless you are the rare exception who humbles himself in truth and personal despair to reveal your problems and giving them the understanding they need to be with you and support you without expecting them to hide with you behind lies, well, the lies most drug users use. Idk how bad your issues are or were but some behaviors just alienate people. If all of them have distanced themselves, that's a true red flag for you.

Maybe contact them and tell them you realize the discomfort the situation caused but you are cleaning up your act and would love to see them again. It really CAN be that simple. Most people are willing to forget the past if you just approach them with the right sentiments.

/r/offmychest Thread