My two best friends are like family. We have been through so much together, they are like sisters.

But as I have gone through some life altering events the past through years, our relationship has been put in perspective. They would probably see me as someone who makes life harder for herself: I’ve changed careers, started over multiple times, and moved a lot. I go out of my comfort zone and try new things. I like stability but I’m willing to sacrifice to get there, usually under the scope of finances (better job, moving to a LCOL area.)

I’ve come to realize my two friends are very invested in staying in their comfort zones. This has meant I have had to travel to them for everything. I now live closer, but they haven’t visited me. I have to go to them, on their terms. One of them barely talks to me. She is unwilling to get professional help for her depression, and is reclusive. She barely reaches out to myself and the other friend. It’s been an ongoing thing for years. I just continue to support her.

My other friend, frankly - it’s all about her. If I miss a FaceTime call from her, she gets pissed and ignores me for days. If I don’t schedule a visit with her every several weeks (driving an hour to her), she pulls away.

I’ve honestly come to expect so little from my two closest friends so in turn I am connecting with other friends who are adventurous and willing to step out of their comfort zone and do things i like to do. Go on walks, go to the gym, go somewhere I want to go for a change. I’m still adjusting to this. I’m extremely easy going - passive, probably - so realizing I’ve just been a third wheel for so long and that I don’t love it has been hard to deal with.