Hey there.

I understand where she's coming from as I get depressed and tend to seek isolation. It's my coping mechanism and it is self-destructive. The thought process (at least for myself) is that secluding myself from people means that they will be less affected by my sadness -- this comes from the belief that the people I seclude myself from could not and would not care for me in that way. I know it's not right, deep down and I'm working on it.

Have you ever taken note of her depressive episodes being cyclic? You have been with her for six months, it's possible that she falls into deeper episodes of depressions at certain times of the year (due to traumatic moments in the past or seasons).

As for you and your role in this... You have your choices.

1.) Show your support for her, but inform her that her sadness affects you. It makes you feel inept at comforting her, the person that you love. Tell her you want her to be the smiling beautiful girl that you know she can be. Let her know that family and friends are there for her... then offer to help her find a therapist (if she is against medication, she can see a counselor who does not have the legal ability to prescribe). Tell her about alternative styles of therapy, ones where there aren't people with note pads taking inventory of your life - things like DBT therapy that change destructive patterns.

2.) Tell her you love her and that you wished she would let you in and let you love her, but as she doesn't it is emotionally draining. Inform her that while you love her, you cannot simply continue on draining yourself emotionally for her (you have a life too and you should be happy in it).

Living with someone that is bipolar/depressed or suffering from any mental illness is difficult (my mother suffers from a number of issues). Eventually you feel like a wet rag someone keeps twisting over a bucket. Once your dry you'll tear. I've been there, I know the feel.

Good luck friend, I see you love her -- I hope it works out.