Really Dude?

Hold on. You break into Tiffany at midnight and don't take money or gold? You take a priceless chandelier that weighs 300 lbs and elude the woman you made love to all night (and seems to be seriously attracted to you) lugging this fragile, priceless, and easily traced light fixture to more countries that most people have been. By the time you are in Berlin, this electrical device's crystals are scratched all to hell and back, making it no longer priceless, but the subject of a priceless restoration. Then, a downturn in the chandelier market makes this impossible because YOU LEFT ALL THE FUCKING GOLD AT TIFFANY. Taking the light instead of the money thirty years ago was one of many mistakes. Not having sex with Tiff as much as possible until you are sick of each other is another mistake. By the end of this story, you need to fuck the light fixture, with all due respect.

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