Small Dutch towns and cities are especially hard socially in my experience. I’m back in Canada now. For OP I think the main avenues for meeting people are expat activities or meeting Dutch through hobbies. It sounds to me like OP may be limiting herself unnecessarily, e.g. doing the gardening club. What’s wrong with feminists and vegans? I’m both and would be perfectly happy to befriend you over a shared interest like gardening.

A key way I made friends in my small Dutch city was though evening Dutch classes at the community college. Befriended all kinds of expats (accountants for an oil company, a cleaning lady, lots of ppl very different from me) I didn’t have much in common with aside from the expat experience and that was fine.

A Dutch neighbour around my age kept inviting me to go to the gym with her and I always declined… I should’ve gone. Just say yes to things and be open minded. Good luck!