I hate telling this story but here goes. I signed up on campus in college because they were offering free Chick-fil-a if you did. 7 years later I get a call saying I'm a match. I suddenly realized that I was the potential life saver for a cancer patient and...I had to say no. Like the person below me said, they can start giving you meds a week or two out to help with the pain, but that requires that you fly (paid by Be The Match) to the location where the donee is. So you're there for a couple weeks getting prepped by the doctor. From what I can remember, it's then a week of them doing the actual marrow extraction, plus another couple weeks of intense pain at the hospital afterwards. I don't care about the pain. I just wasn't in a place where I could leave my paycheck-to-paycheck job, my bills, my dog, etc. for what BTM estimates is a 4-6 week long process. Literally couldn't afford it. If I could have done it and broken even, or hell, even just come up $1000 more broke and it meant I saved someones life then sure, bring it on.

But I really just couldn't make it work. I felt SO terrible, had to tell them no. I did talk to my mom first, who had cancer when I was a kid, and she told me I had to say no. If I was in high school or if I was a stay at home parent who could have someone come cover my parental duties then absolutely. But she reminded me that I was a single guy who in all feasibility couldn't leave for upwards of a month on my current paycheck. I guess I just needed to type all this out because I do have some guilt about it, not knowing if I was some patient's one hope just to hear that I backed out. But I also think it's shitty that I was given a free sandwich when I was a broke college freshman with the promise I would almost definitely never be called on to donate. I'd pay the cost of 100 sandwiches to have avoided the terrible feeling of saying no to someone who needed my marrow.