Reddit, Why are you no longer friends with your best friend? [Serious]

Throwaway because I don't want the mess it would cause if someone found all this out, event though I feel like I have to say it. We were best friends for about 12 years before it finally sank in that she was just never going to get any better.

She's not "crazy" in terms of the "crazy bitch" crazy that so many people say about their ex's, whether they be SO's or friends. She is just singularly the most selfish person I've ever come to know, and lies so often to herself about it, that she's truly come to believe she is the victim.

We both used to be pretty popular back in late high school and college. But I always felt like I was chasing her coat-tails because she was the pretty one then. It was easy for her to make friends because she felt comfortable in her own skin, and I didn't. She gave me a lot of social opportunities that I wouldn't have otherwise put myself out there for, and I think that somehow gave her the idea that I owed her something. She had phone sex with a guy I had a huge crush on that I'd just spent several hours with at a party, while I was in the next room. She made out with an ex two days after I broke up with him for cheating on me because she was "too drunk." She gave the guy that took my virginity and broke my heart a blow job because she assumed I didn't like him anymore because he hurt me. And I let her get away with all of it for years because she was so good at talking her way out of things, and I didn't have any closer friends to tell me how bad it was.

But I watched her behavior over the coming years, and began to make new friends that actually valued me as a person. I came out of my shell, and my appearance improved dramatically as I gained more confidence and started to take better consideration of my looks. She became bitter. Any time someone would say anything slightly negative about me, she would come running to tell me. If she saw my SO talking to another girl in public, she would make sure to text me immediately. All the while pretending it was to prove she was my VERY best friend, but in reality trying sow discord in my other relationships. We began to naturally grow apart at this time, and she gained a lot of weight which did NOT help her attitude or situation. She tried to make other friends outside of me, that would immediately become her BEST FRIENDS (at least on Facebook so the world could see), but they would inevitably have dramatic falling outs. Which put me in awkward positions because I'd have made friends with them by then, and couldn't really be mad at them for getting fed up with her. She has never learned to really apologize, so these other relationships just wither away. If she tries to apologize, it ends up being a, "Well I'm sorry you feel that way, but I wouldn't have done it if X, or I only did it because, X." A non-apology.

The straw that broke the camel's back is how I see her treat her boyfriend. They were together for a while a few years ago, and he was going through a hard time. She couldn't stand to be with him when he was depressed, and always complained about how boring he was. She had sex with another guy during that time, (who by the way was the ex of ANOTHER good friend of ours) and eventually broke it off with her BF. Until, that is, he got a new job making significantly more money. He even told my brother one night that he thought he'd be able to get her back if she knew how much money he was making. Sure enough, they're back together and now she constantly makes it a point to tell people all of the things he buys her. Not the things she likes about him, but how much she likes what he pays for. I asked her once if she would ever fess up to all the terrible things she did to him while they were together, but she said that would be "selfish." It would only hurt him and serve herself because she would be the only one to benefit by getting it off his chest. The end of our friendship wasn't dramatic. It didn't happen all at once. It just slowly fizzled out because I could no longer tolerate the way she treats people. She has no idea how to really love someone, and it's too late for me to teach her.

TL;DR A slow, wilting friendship because I can't make excuses for her toxic behavior anymore.

/r/AskReddit Thread