Kind of related. Maybe not. But a good way to get something off of my chest after a few months.
I try not to be the victim in stories. I'm sure there is something I've done wrong or handled badly. But I recently lost my two best friends because I called one friend the worst possible word: inconsiderate.
If I knew, at that time, the results that word would bring... I wouldn't have done it.
We were supposed to meet for a beer. He, as he always did, waited until the last minute (actually 30 minutes passed the last minute) to text back "nah. Not going."
"Dude. I mean that's fine but you've always done this. It's so fucking inconsiderate."
I get a text back from him...ranting about how he didn't make me wait for him and how I'm an adult.
I leave it be for a day. Didn't really realize how pissed he was. I ask for a beer. No answer. a couple weeks, we haven't talked. We have a third friend. He's not talking to me either. I start sending texts to Inconsiderate Friend saying stuff like "hey man. Are you still being a bitch or do you want to get a beer?" (In hindsight, awful...but this is how we have always spoken to each other). Apparently he uses that to turn my other friend against me.
Another month goes by. I had a birthday, no message from either of them. Inconsiderate has a birthday, he doesn't respond back to my well-wishes. Third Friend has a birthday, says "thanks man" but doesn't bother responding to me asking to get a beer for his birthday.
I eventually send a lengthy text (tried calling but he wouldn't answer) explaining how we've been friends for 10 years and he has said much worse things to me. really worse. But we're friends and we give each other shit.
Apparently that text caused him to just block me in every way possible and refuse to ever say anything. It's been over two months now without him saying a word to me personally.
I reached out to Third Friend today. I call him out on everything, wondering, legitimately curious, if he is truly this busy or if he's just avoiding me for Inconsiderate Friend's sake.
He goes off. Saying how we're growing up and all of this petty friendship stuff annoys him.
Anyway. I'm moving soon. Probably won't see much of them again. Things definitely won't be the same.
Moral of the story: I don't know. I guess option A) try to understand telling friends how you feel isn't always for the best. option B) if a friendship was that fragile to begin with, maybe you're better off.
I'm not a writer. Suck at writing conclusions. Especially when a real life conclusion hasn't occurred. I guess I'll move and move on to the next chapter of my life.