Reddit user attempts to instill a little empathy, and points out the "end game" to a wife who "doesn't see the point" of having sex with her husband.

A marriage is not just a contract binding two people together to have exclusive sex for the rest of their lives.

That's not all it is, of course, but marriage is literally a contract binding two people together to have exclusive sex for the rest of their lives. The marriage here certainly isn't open; the woman is not okay with her husband getting sex elsewhere.

Everything the linked comment said sounds pretty rapey

They aren't saying that the husband should have sex with her without her consent, they're saying that she should consent to sex with her husband. That's an absolutely reasonable expectation and is not rape under any definition of the term.

I think there are better ways to approach this problem than "if you don't put out your husband won't love you"

That's not what people are saying. People are saying that by not even making an effort to 'put out', she is showing that she doesn't care about the husband.

It actually looks like the husband loves his wife more than he should given her total contempt for his feelings. If my SO told me that she 'hated' having sex with me and refused to even discuss it, the relationship would immediately be over.

It is possible to be happy without sex, she's not destroying her husband's soul by not wanting sex - he's destroying himself obsessing over it if anything.

Are there people in the world who can be happy without sex? Sure. Are there people in the world who cannot be happy without sex? That's also true, and it just so happens that OP's husband is one of those people.

If she doesn't want sex then that's her fucking prerogative.

If the husband wants to drain their joint bank account and go on a booze-fueled hooker binge in Thailand, that's technically 'his fucking prerogative', too. He would also be a very shitty person if he exercised that prerogative without regard for the feelings his spouse.

We aren't talking about "What can this woman legally get away with", we're talking about "How does a relationship work when one person wants sex and the other refuses to even consider it". It is her prerogative to not have sex, but she needs to realize that by exercising that prerogative, she's hurting someone who cares about her.

some people simply aren't programmed that way which is what a lot of you refuse to accept. I'm one of them, I would know.

The situation is just as bad for her as it is for him.

And if you feel like this but marry someone who has the perfectly reasonable expectation that they will be having sex for the rest of their life, you'd be a really fucking shitty person.

Beyond that, it's important to note that this is a total 180 from earlier in their relationship. It's not like she gave him a disclaimer when he proposed: "I'll probably want to reduce the frequency of sex to one reluctant encounter per month". No, they had a sex life they were both happy with, and she admits to making absolutely zero effort to compromise with him.

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