2018 was the worst year of my life so not much. My grandmother died sort of suddenly and she was a huge part of our family. I basically failed in my new career industry that I decided to switch to so we had to file for bankruptcy. We almost lost our house and are still on thin ice. We still don’t make anywhere near enough to pay our bills even post bankruptcy.
My 4 year old daughter is having bad behavior issues that have been tough to work through. My 2 year old son we discovered may have autism (or may just be really delayed in some areas) and have entered him into an early intervention program. My weight ballooned and I hit the 300 pound mark as 6 foot tall make that should weigh around 185. Everyone in my family is skinny and I have no reason to be fat except for years of over eating and addictive eating and laziness.
Basically everything I have sown over the past 5 years I am now reaping all at once. I am failing my family, we are in a financial prison that makes it so we are only existing and not really living.
On the bright side, I guess my chemical make up in my brain luckily doesn’t produce suicidal thoughts or severe sorrow. More so indifference, self loathing, and laziness. So it’s easier to turn things around when you don’t have that strong feeling of sorrow that some people get that make them want to not live.
I’m still optimistic. I just switched jobs and have a much better outlook at this company. I have been following some rules since December 22nd which are everyday eat only between 11am-7pm (intermittent fasting) eat 1600 calories or less, eat no sweet food, fast food, take out, pizzerias, etc. AND work out for at least a half an hour each day. I’m already down 10 pounds and feel 1000 times better and am determined to lose all the weight.
I have amazing kids (despite the issues I mentioned that we are working on with them they are my perfect little people) and a wife who is beautiful and amazing that I don’t deserve. In the last 10 years I’ve really accomplished nothing except for marrying my wife and having my kids. And I am thankful every day for the three of them. I’ve never written this all down before, and not sure why I chose a random askreddit question to do so. But I do know that 2019 is looking up and I’m determined for it to be the exact opposite of 2018. I think I’ve weather the storm of hitting rock bottom and excited for what’s next now that I’m breaking out of my depression (indifference,laziness, self sabotage, etc.) , losing weight, and doing better in my career.