I used to be a charity fundraiser, door to door. We'd drive to various areas and go a'knockin' at people's houses, trying to get them to donate. Anyway, on the way back one night in a colleague's car, a person in a BMW flashed his lights at us - our car also being a Beamer. It was at this point that I realised there's a BMW Owners Club in existence who look out for each other. Anyway, turns out the brake lights were fucked and we still had a lot of miles to cover before getting back home.

My friend and colleague wanted to pick up weed on the way back, which, in hindsight was a bad idea when your car is prime pulling over material, but he grabbed and eighth, and myself and another grabbed some smoke too.

We could see the finish line when we saw the cop car behind us. Oh dear. We dun goofed now. The reds and blues flashed and we were pulled over. Wondering what just the fuck we were gonna do.

I decided, along with my colleagues, to just get out of the car. The vehicle stank of the Devil's Lettuce and at least this would give us some chance.

"Going somewhere quick, lads?", the officer said.

"No, i've never been pulled over before - I don't know the procedure", I said with all the acting prowess of someone from a 1970s B-Movie.

Sure enough, the break lights were our downfall and why they'd pulled us over for it. My colleague and driver said he was notified by another driver 10 minutes ago and had every intention of taking it to a garage in the a.m. Well, being someone with good social skills and the gift of the gab pays off in this situation as not only did the officer let us off with a warning after a brief conversation, he didn't look inside the car where, later we saw, a fucking GRINDER in between the two front seats, in the tray by the handbrake. My work mate didn't even get fined, but was escorted to park mechanics garage and had to take a taxi home.