Reddit, what are the unwritten rules of being your friend?

What timing.

What I require from a friend:

Compassion - life is a team sport, don't judge people and don't assume you are better than they are (for any reason).

Politeness - don't be a dick to people. Seriously, communicate politely and effectively. If you can't articulate without swearing at people, slow down and articulate when you can.

Know what is your's and what is mine - as in my husband is not your's, don't cross the line. My money, cars, house, and pets are not yours. Don't assume you have access to them whenever you feel like it, and don't ever tell me how I should act/be in my relations with others.

Be polite and respectful to my other friends and family - pretty much the same as politeness, in addition to understanding that of the 7 billion people on the planet, I am not exclusively yours and not your 24/7 on call psychologist.

Understand that my life isn't a benchmark for your life - we are different people. We will be very different people, with a very different past and education. I am not the reason your life is not going the way you think it should, and I will not take heat regarding your failings in life. If you don't like your life, do something about it - don't try to hijack my life in an effort to move forward.

Be able to disagree on most things without becoming affronted to the extreme - people who assume that because we share time together that we must then share carbon copy views on all of life issues are insane and controlling.

What I do not expect in a friend

Alcohol/substance driven rage attacks - specifically (and I hope she reads this), if your fiance knocks your lights out because you manufacture drama (literally making stuff up) and keep picking fights with him, it's not my fault. I have my own family and I don't really want anything to do with your alcohol/insanity driven need for destructive relationships. Take your evil, manipulating and nasty texts and shove them where the sun does not often shine.

A requirement for me to take your side on every issue, regardless of facts or situation - goes without saying.

To fill the role of some form of same sex non sexual partner - that's dating, not friendship, and it's weird. I am not your sugar moma and you will be buying your own lunches, movie tickets, and gas.

Drama - the biggest no no for me. I have had it with people who live in a whirlwind of drama and chaos in an effort to feel alive and defined. Unwilling to hear the truth when requesting my opinion - do not ask me what I think or what I feel about a situation if you really just want to hear an echo of your own feelings and thoughts. I have my own mind and if you ask me to give you an opinion, you will get it, but it won't always be what you want to hear. If you can't handle that, don't ask me, and you better not go nuts when my view doesn't align with your brand of insanity, as that's abuse and not a friendship.

Above all, I do not expect a friend who doesn't respect boundaries - there will be times where I need to not be with you, and there will be times where I do not wish to be embroiled in the minutia of your life. I do what I chose to do, not what you want me to chose to do.


That's pretty much it.

/r/AskReddit Thread