Cutting people out of your life sucks, especially when it's on them and you get blamed. Because then you start blaming yourself. I'm so glad your dad believed you, and I'm so sorry that your grandparents fucked you over so badly.

Talk to someone. Maybe just a friend, maybe a counsellor, but air it all out. As long as they can keep a secret and won't give awful advice, just lay it all out there for them. Venting can be really crucial.

If you have vented to no avail, dive into the issue. What is so bothersome about the event to you? That they lied? That you were deceived too? That your dad initially believed them even with their past? All of this? Spend a day or two sobbing and picking apart your feelings, find the roots. I was a mess when I first left my mom, I was numb and I was crying and it wasn't until I just faced the void and bared down my whole life that I was finally able to move on with my life.

And then, accept the past for what it is- shitty, temporary, but with arms reaching to the future. This is a lifelong process, and you may never make as much leeway as you want, but it's growth.

To quote a Native American proverb, there are two dogs inside you, hate and love. The one you feed wins. But I find there are many more than two, there is guilt, blame, frustration, denial. Whichever dogs last with you into the future will be the ones you feed.

I still cry and punch walls and bury myself in sewing sometimes when I listen to my moms old voicemails where she calls me princess, and find pictures of us at the louvre. Why did they make those choices? What was wrong with them? What was wrong with us?

The answers are simple the understanding is not. People are people.

But above all, you are not to blame.

You aren't. You are yourself and you are great. You are who you are NOT because of them. You are who you are in spite of them.

Sorry for the rambling and complete lack of structure, I've been waiting to make some good of this event in my life, and hopefully this will help you in the slightest.