Reddit, what made you completely lose your shit in public?

I have had a long history of bullying in school, pretty badly. But never by a teacher, until I went to university. Restaurant class I guess I can call it, was fun enough. I like the process of making something out of nothing, so cooking really spoke to me.

It did not take long though, before I hated it. I still do to this day, my cooking is strictly home based now. No matter what was wrong, it was public. No matter what happened, it was called out. No matter what, something was wrong.

My Waiting teacher bullied me. The cooking teachers were alright, but even so... For months and months my life went more and more to shit. But I kept it inside me, since a lifetime of bullying taught me that I couldn't retaliate. And I couldn't speak up. That would only mean it was my fault. That is what I had learned from previous schools, teacher, and other adults.

My friends knew, and they also knew that I wouldn't retaliate. But. They managed to convince me to confront him, and tell him how I felt.

So I did, pulled him aside on morning while we were prepping the restaurant, and said that I felt extremely bullied by him.

He said, that yes. He did. Cause he knew I was of low self esteem, and wanted to build it. So he bullied me.

I don't know his logic, but I can guarantee you. That you don't build the self esteem of a bully victim, by bullying him.

I calmly nodded, said okay, and went out into the restaurant. I then flipped a fully finished table, just threw it away and stood there breathing. I had what I can only describe as a rage induced panic attack.

The instant someone said anything, I just punched. Not a person, but a wall. I punched it hard, a thick brick wall. It hurt, but I didn't care. I punched and punched and punched, screaming all the while. There was so much blood, my hand was completely wrecked, fingers were broken, wrist was fractured, skin was ruptured. And I was leaking so much blood you might as well have cut if off.

But I didn't care, I was so angry. Nearly fifteen years of frustration, just venting onto that one wall until I passed out.

Never went back to that class.

/r/AskReddit Thread