I've never lost a child, but I lost a sister when we were teenagers. As a surviving child, I appreciate that you are thinking about your other children when you're feeling so much pain yourself. That's huge -- that's such an important thing you're doing for them and it will help them to cope with the loss. My mom held herself together very well but I've seen some other families where the parents completely fall apart and the surviving children are left having to navigate this tough time by themselves.

As for how to live -- it's going to be hard. The first year was so hard...dealing with the first Christmas without them, first birthday, the anniversary of their death. But I can tell you, impossible as it seems, it does get easier. I miss my sister so much and I still cry about it and get sad, but it's not a dark cloud over my life anymore. The only thing you can do is wait, because the only way to get through it is with time.

My sister's bedroom remained the way she left it for seven years. No one had the heart to go through it, so don't feel like you need to do it immediately. When we finally did pack it up, we did it together, we divided up things we each wanted as keepsakes, we boxed up things that weren't too important to her, but my mom kept all of it and I think that's ok. It's not negatively affecting her life and she's coped with the death tremendously, so don't feel like you have to move on or let go. It's ok to hold onto some of your son's things and move at your own pace.

Whenever I've felt myself getting terribly sad about my sister, I think about what she'd want for me. She wouldn't want me depressed and crying all the time. She'd want me living life and being happy. It was hard to be happy at first, because I felt so guilty for being happy without her. But now, when I'm happy, I think about how happy she'd be for me and it's comforting.