When I was in elementary school Ms. Nix was my teacher. I thought she was was the coolest person on earth. She was in her 20's, had blonde curly hair and was totally gorgeous, and she talked to us like we were humans and not babies. She even let us meet her boyfriend, and later that year we helped him propose to her. I felt like we were special for her to let us in on her life.

So one day we are about to go to recess and she says, "When you guys get back you're going to meet one of my long-time friends! She's excited to meet you!" I was stoked... someone who was friends with her had to at LEAST be as cool as her, if not cooler. And she thought WE were cool enough to meet her friend!

So when we got back from recess she invited us all to sit in a semi circle at the front of the room. Of course I raced to get front row and center, glancing around trying to find this friend. She sits on a stool in front of us and says "You ready to meet my friend?" We all say YESSS!!

She pulls out an alligator puppet. A fucking puppet. She's using it to teach us "greater than/less than" because the mouth <, > "eats" the biggest number.

I was pissed at her for a good three days.