My senior year in high school I was a section leader in the band. One day we were having a section rehearsal after school and everything was going good except for one kid who was constantly causing problems. My second year as section leader, his second year as being the only problem person in my section. Just generally contrary to everything I say and not easy to work with.

Anyway, this was the first time he made me so angry I couldn't speak. I don't even remember what he did, but it was to the point where my partner had to take over. It wasn't really his fault, I had had a rough day, but still. I remember very distinctly thinking to myself that I wouldn't really care if he quit as he had been talking about doing it for a while.

The next morning he wasn't at rehearsal. It was a Friday, so we had a pep rally. As we were leaving the gym, the directors told us to stay in the band hall instead of going to class like we usually did. We all knew something was up.

Turns out, the kid had gotten hit by a car on his way to rehearsal. He rode his bike every day. He got hit in an intersection literally two blocks away from the band field. The paramedics said that he was dead instantly, and God I hope they were right. They never found the guy that did it. Hit and run.

I knew that he rode his bike and had thought about giving him rides in the morning, but I never offered simply because I didn't like him. In the leadership role I was in I really probably had a responsibility to at least offer a ride.

I know it wasn't really my fault, but at the time I couldn't help but feel at least a little responsible, and while I eventually got over his death I still haven't been able to shake that feeling. This happened 8 months ago, and it still fucks me up.

TL;DR: I wished I didn't have to deal with a kid under my responsibility anymore, wish granted.