Reddit, what was the worst experience you ever had with a roommate?

My freshman year college roommate was an unmitigated nightmare. I should preface this by saying that we had bunk beds (his was on top) and a 125 sq. ft room. Here's what he did: Jizzed on my keyboard, actually shorting it out. Built a beer can sculpture on my desk, dumping close to a full six-pack of beer on my monitor in the process. Hid his drug stash in my desk (unbeknownst to me) so his folks wouldn't find it during parent's weekend. You know who did find it? That's right - my parents. Vomited on my pillow after a night of drinking Got so drunk that he pissed himself during the night, and the urine actually saturated the mattress and dripped all over me. This happened more than once. Vomited against the wall while in bed. You guessed it - the vomit dripped down the wall and got on my bedclothes, pillow, and face. Brought 15 of his drunk idiot rugby friends over (remember how big I said our room was). One of them threw my VCR out the window, and another one set one of my notebooks on fire (we actually had a fireplace in our room). Locked me out of the room at random times so he could fuck women in my bed. His was too cumbersome to get them in to, he later explained. I petitioned the dean of first year students and got a new room during the second trimester. I would still see that fucking asshole ever so often for the next three years, and every time I would want to dickpunch him. He actually went on to pledge the fraternity that Animal House was based on.

/r/AskReddit Thread