Reddit, what is your craziest dorm story? [NSFW]

Buckle up boys this is a long one.

First lets map this out. I was in a dorm "suite" where each room shared a bathroom with another room. So 2 rooms are connected by a hall that has a door to this bathroom. This hall has 3 doors total that separates all the rooms so we cant just fuck around in each others' spaces.

Ok so one night my roommate and I are home and hear more noise than these loud fucks normally make. One guy is in our shared hall and behind our closed door we hear complaining and faint crying. Apparently one of the two roommates was locked in between all the doors in some fucked up hall purgatory. He's also audibly drunk.

He's crying for his roommate to let him in and pounding the door. Now my roommate and I didnt actually know these guys too well, but they've had their issues in the past so we decide to let them sort it out like they normally do. This time was different.

After crying for a good bit we hear the door open and think its finally over. No. The other roommate went in the hall to shut him up physically. We hear a scuffle and then the door slam. Then more crying. He was locked in again. Now he moves on from this sad phase into an anger phase and we hear him destroy shit. Like a goddamn rampage in that bathroom. It sounded like what I would imagine throwing a gorilla into a dryer would sound like.

After the storm calms we hear more crying and whimpering and this time his tone changes to almost acceptance that he will live between these doors for the rest of his drunk existence. Then something gave him hope.

He begins to knock on OUR door and ask for help. Our initial reaction was fuck no we've had enough of it all year. I feel bad but mostly I'm curious so I open the door. This towering, skinny, drunk mass sways over me and nearly falls so I grab his arms to catch him.

He uses me to walk himself to MY bed. Where he decides to lay, cover himself with MY blankets and continue crying. Then we smell it. The vomit. He had vomited all over our shared hall. It was on his clothes, and now on my bed.

We had had enough at this point so we knock on the suite mate's door and ask him to clean up his fuck up of a roommate. As soon as our drunk and disheartened hero sees his roommate he assumes his angry-dryer-gorilla persona again and gets mad. He keeps screaming "You're an asshole" and refuses to leave.

Long story still long, he ends up back into his room and the next morning comes back looking like somebody raised him from the dead and apologizes after cleaning up his mess.

TLDR: Drunk-crying-dryer-vomit-gorilla sleeps in my bed

/r/AskReddit Thread