Here's a few:
I was renting a flat with a friend in college. His older brother had just gotten out of county lockup and needed a place to stay until he got back on his feet (he slept on our couch for a year and a half). One night I come home from bartending and the brother and a woman are sleeping on the couch. In the dim light, she looks nice, and I say to myself, good for him. In the morning they are still sleeping as I make my way to the bathroom. I glance over and notice that this woman had a full beard. It was bleached but it was a full beard. She was also much older that I had thought, probably early 40s. We were in our early 20s.
A few weeks later, similar scenario except it was a different woman and they were in my roommates bedroom (he was a firefighter on a 24 hour shift) when I came home. All I saw was old lady shoes at the front door. In the morning, some old lady with gray hair made a mad dash from the bedroom to the back door.
A year later we were in a new rental house, same guys + 1 more. I was dating a girl much younger than me. She was in college, but she was a freshman. The first few weeks of school, I could tell she was nervous being out and about with a lot of unfamiliar people. I always invited her roommate to come out with us. Her roommate was also very attractive so I had to look out for her a bit if we were partying with my friends (most of them are scumbags). She ends up hitting it off with the firefighter one night. It was great because he was a good guy and my girlfriend wouldn't worry about her the rest of the night. I drove them back to the dorms the next morning. When I return, I saw my roommate bringing all his linens down to the laundry. He proceeds to tell me that my gf's roommate performed some oral acts and literally spit it out all over the bed. He ended up sleeping on the floor because it was all over everything.
Personally, I'd prefer not to share any about myself. Mostly because it's really hard to remember. But I was not a very good person. I woke up many mornings with an overwhelming feeling that I needed Jesus in my life. At one point, things got so bad that I just stopped putting sheets on my bed.
Okay, I'll share one. Without going into too much detail. I woke up very early one morning after being out all night at the bars and I was not please with what I saw next to me. I immediately got dressed and headed for the door. I was still hammered.
The sun was just coming up and I started walking. It was cold and I was just wearing a t-shirt. I walked for a little bit and I was still disoriented from the booze and lack of sleep, but things started looking familiar. After about a half hour, I was feeling sick. I ducked behind some bushes and started puking my brains out. It had been about a half hour since I had left and I was not feeling any more sober. I kept walking and the neighborhood was getting more and more familiar, but it felt like I was walking in circles.
I had no idea what time it was, but the sun was getting bright and I started noticing more people out and about. I just wanted to get home. The next thing I know, I hear my roommates voice calling me. I turnaround and he pulls up in his car. I didn't hesitate to get in. I just thought, what luck. When I got in, he started asking me what I was doing. I couldn't speak. I was just holding back the vomit. I don't remember him telling me anything at that point, but later he explained to me that about an hour earlier, he was in our kitchen eating breakfast when he saw me run out the front door half dressed. Yes, I was at my house and I was so drunk I did not realize where I was. He then explained to me that a woman had come down from my bedroom shortly after I left. She looked at him and he asked he, "What do you need?" She looked at him dead in the eye and said, "I need about tree fiddy."
It was about that time he realized that this woman was 15 foot tall crustacean from the paleolithic era.