An old friend of mine was chatting with this girl for years, and when it came time to meet, my friend just couldn't get to the date on time. Instead of postponing the date with this girl, my friend asked me to pretend to be him, and go meet the girl.

I suppose my friend chickened out, and wanted to let the girl down in a nice way or something later on... I really don't know. All I know is they've been flirting for years without seeing each other.

Anyway, I decided to meet the girl, I had nothing better to do. While driving, I pulled up to her house and saw that her entire family was outside waiting in the driveway for my arrival. I felt like I had just won a prize, and they were all there to congratulate me; the parents were waving at me with big smiles on their faces...

Anyway, as I come to a crawl (still driving), I see this extremely large woman, stomach hanging out of her shirt, hairy legs, etc.

oh shit oh shit

It was too late to turn back, they all saw me, and I couldn't live with myself if I destroyed this girls heart.

I got out, said "Hi" to everyone without making eye contact. The girl responds with, "I didn't think you'd find my home", as she drooled on her shirt.

She asked if I wanted to watch a movie in the basement, and once we got downstairs I noticed a couch, and one uncomfortable wooden chair... I jumped for the chair, and she said, "Are you comfortable? Why not sit on the couch?", so I told her I have a bad back.

Throughout the entire movie, she was staring at me, but as soon as she left to go to the washroom, I decided that I needed to GTFO before things got out of hand; I splinter-celled my ass up the stairs, crawling on the floor to get to the entrance way, grabbed my shoes, and ran home.