Reddit, what's the worst dump you've ever taken?

In my town there is an annual wharf to wharf marathon about 6 miles long. My first year running it I was in 7th or 8th grade. It was the first time and subsequently the worst time.

Starting the day I met with some friends for a pre marathon breakfast before we embark on own towns tradition. My breakfast was filling and delicious, consisting of an egg chorizo breakfast burrito. Twas amazing and would soon be my downfall.

Before leaving for the race the parents asked "Does anybody need to use the bathroom". I felt a slight pressure suggesting poop needed to be evacuated. But I said no.

Race begins, I run the first mile well--well enough for a slightly chubby kid anyway. As I pass the first mile mark it hits me. The growl of an oncoming disaster filled my ears... I needed bathroom.

However being a marathon, there weren't many toilets available on the road. What I do is run up the adjacent hill towards a park that I'm hoping will have a toilet.

I waddle as the disaster inches closer. Behind me I hear a friend calling my name wondering where I'm going. The situation is too far along and I have no chance to respond.

I find a bathroom.

I throw off my shorts. Plop down and brace for impact. It was painful, messy, and I didn't eat chorizo for a while after that. But that's not the worst part.

Once the disaster subsided. I reach for the toilet paper... And there is none. I panic as my ass is in no shape to be covered with compression shorts. I use the cardboard of the empty role to do the best I can, but it isn't enough. I'm left with a shitty butt sealed by tight compression shorts.

And on top of that, I had no phone so I had to finish the remaining 5miles before I could go home. Worst dump of my life.

/r/AskReddit Thread