No one knows just how much I hate my life - how it’s going, how hopeless I feel because I don’t know how to change it, how many times a day I think it may not even be worth it to keep going anymore. I’m not suicidal... I don’t think I could even go through with it, even if for the sheer fact alone I would feel guilty because I have people relying on me. But still, it doesn’t seem worth it.

It’s not that I haven’t tried to talk to anyone about it. I tell my parents I can’t handle all the stress much more because it’s been going in since I was a kid, but their reaction comes across that I’m being selfish and ungrateful, because they have the same issues, if not worse - just one of the reasons I resent them both so much. I would get myself back into therapy but I can’t afford medical insurance, because I’m the only one working in my family currently. And other people I’ve cared about and would trust enough to tell? They all seem to walk out of my life the moment I need them the most.

I’m just tired of all of it.