Redditor’s who gave your S.O a second chance after they cheated, why did you forgive them and have you learned to fully trust them again? How is your relationship now?

She cheated on me less than two months into our relationship with an ex. Cue the ritualistic begging me to stay, claiming she would change, and telling me she would cut off contact with her ex. Things would be extremely passionate when she thought she was going to lose me, and within 2-3 months it would dull out. This must have happened 6 or 7 times throughout the entire two years we were together. The last time she cheated on me was with some girl she met while on vacation. She still doesn't know that I know about this.

I was paranoid and couldn't trust her the entire time we were together. But I was madly in love with her, so I continued to make excuses for her (and worse, for myself) to justify staying in a relationship that knew I didn't belong in. This caused serious depression due to how dissonant I felt -- logically, I knew I deserved more and that I wasn't happy, but emotionally, I wasn't ready to let her go. I never learned to trust her (despite years of convincing myself I had), and for a while I thought it was because she continued to cheat on me throughout our relationship. Looking back, I doubt I would have trusted her even if it only happened one time.

We don't talk anymore. We tried to be friends after our relationship, but she continued to refuse to accept the boundaries I put up when I told her I wanted our relationship to be platonic, while she was dating another woman (shocker). I've learned that some people aren't meant to be in your life and that they only bring out toxicity that you're better off without. Despite this, I don't think she's a bad person (nor do I believe I'm in the position to judge her for the way she lives her life). I genuinely still hope for the best when I think about her.

Her cheating on me was the best thing that ever happened to me. I haven't dated seriously since our last breakup, but it truly set the groundwork towards some serious self-care that I realized I had neglected my whole life. I learned to truly love myself and I slowly became more confident. I learned that your sense of worth comes from within, not what is projected onto you by other people. I learned what not to stand for and that it's okay to expect that they will put in 50% of the work to sustain our relationship. And I learned that it's okay to walk away from something the first time you realize it no longer suits you. And moving forward, I'm not going to expect anything less than what makes me unquestionably happy.

/r/AskReddit Thread