Redditors in a bad place mentally, how did you get there and how can we help?

I don't think anyone will really see my reply so I feel comfortable just incoherently shouting this into the void. I suffer from severe anxiety disorders, depression and agoraphobia. I have left my house a total of 4 times (was forced to) this entire year so far. I'm suicidal. Have been for about five years. I'm only alive because I don't want to fuck up again and leave myself paralysed or somethin. I live with my abusive, (functional) alcoholic mother but I can't escape her because I am utterly dependent on her for my food, meds, everything since I can't leave the house or take care or myself properly. I lost my job and dropped out of school multiple times due to my mental health. Goodbye all that "potential and talent" I supposedly had. I kept trying and trying and failing and failing. I am completely and utterly lonely. The only way I get through the day is distracting myself with the internet. I've tried therapy and some medication. But my therapists dropped me because I couldn't leave my house to go to their facility anymore. I'm basically living in limbo waiting to die. Also I have an eating disorder. Lol. Fuck me, I guess. It's my 18th birthday in a few months and I just don't even want to see that day. I've wasted so much of my life. I don't think anyone can help me and I'm not exactly helping myself either. Yikes.

/r/AskReddit Thread