Redditors, have you ever told someone that they wish they were dead, and then it happened?

Yes, it was actually a girlfriend about 7 years ago. She had been a heroin addict and I was at my wits end trying to help her stay clean. We had a ridiculous polyamorous relationship that went on for two years, but had gone to being monogamous, because it sort of helped her get clean and me get sober. A pregnancy scare happened and I was quite young and immature, basically a douche. This caused a shift in our relationship that started the fighting, but what we were both fighting was really the need to feed our addictions. I became suspicious of everything, which seems to be common for anyone trying to stay sober/clean. What followed was a large fight after she said she wanted to be poly again, I was upset because I was worried any part of my old life could cause me to fall off the wagon again. The fight that night which was just a horrible screaming match of both our insecurities culminated in her hoping I crashed my car when whiskey took over again and me telling her she should just hurry up and OD already. She went up North to her mom's house and actually did a week of rehab, I even started going up there to do couples therapy with her. Things were working out in a way, though with how young we were I have no idea where it would have gone. A month goes by of her living up there. I get a call at work and it's her saying she'll be home tonight, because she hates the fact that all of our time together is in counseling or under the eye of her mom. You know she just wants alone time. I am ecstatic by this and finally apologise to her for saying she should OD. I just wanted her home. Get off work and go home excited to have my best friend back. 7 p.m. she isn't there yet. OK cool. Call her at 8:30, no answer. I became convinced that she decided against it and felt crushed. The house slowly closed in on me and I needed to get out so got in my car and just went and sat in a Barnes and Noble parking lot. Walk in and buy The Hand of Thrawn to read. Sitting in my car at midnight still reading. Phones goes off, it is her sister. She sobbing and says that my girlfriend had died. That she was gone and had been t bed by an old cadillac. It snapped her spine. I barely remember what happened next besides lighting a cigarette while listening to her sister and that the flame of the lighter took up my entire vision as I stared at it... I didn't even go home, all I know is I ended up on my parents couch and woke up to my Dad''s version of here's you're favorite food because life sucks. Those McNuggets were what finally made me cry like a little kid. Sitting on that stupid couch. What followed was a relapse with a passion that lasted for 5 years on my part. I still regret those words today even though I have come to peace with it. I am only consoled by the fact that I at least got to say sorry for them to her before she passed. This is the first time I've actually shared this with anyone outside of my family.

/r/AskReddit Thread