I joined for a few reasons.
I had always wanted to be in the military ever since I was a kid. No idea why. Just did.
9/11 happened when I was in 10th grade. Made me really angry
I felt it was my duty as a able bodied American male to serve my country in a time of war
I had no interest in going to college. I figured out it was a sham early on, and wanted to avoid it like the plague. Still wound up there, but that's another story.
I will explain it to you the only way I know how.
You wake up, stumble around, get coffee, leave for work. I still wake up to revillie, get dressed, put on a gun, and walk around the upstairs of my house, looking out all 4 corners of the house to observe what is going on in the neighborhood, noting anything that doesn't belong.
You go to the grocery store and get milk. I go to the grocery store, walk the perimeter, make note of any unsavory looking people between me and the milk. I get as close to them as I can. To you and them I'm strolling past, a passing glance nothing more. I've just memorized what you look like, what you're wearing, approximate height and weight, and how anything in your cart or being worn on your body could be used to detain, disable or kill you.
You take pleasure in exciting activities. I'm disinterested in your idea of fun. Nothing in the world comes even remotely close to the excitement of having other human beings try to kill you.
You enjoy a nice dinner with your significant other. I need to be sat in the corner so I can observe all the entrances and keep tabs on who walks in.
You get to ride the incredible human emotional roller coaster. The highs, the lows, you know how great it feels to cry, to hurt, to have a genuine feeling about anything. You take it for granted. My emotions have flatlined. Everything feels the same. I have cried once in 12 years. The feeling that came with it was nearly crippling. I had forgotten how powerful it is. May 2nd, 2011. I wept uncontrollably.
Your body and mind functions normally, the condition of your body matches the number of years you have spent on earth. I am broken. In 6 years of service, I feel like my body aged 20 years. My mind and spirit are broken by the things I have been a part of.
I lost most of my 20s.
I lost my ability to view the world and the people in it with optimism
I lost that warm fuzzy feeling I call ignorance, but the rest of you call day to day life.
I gained a level of maturity I never thought possible for such a young age.
I gained the ability to view everything and every one with a bit of skepticism. I will not give anyone the benefit of the doubt. I will process any and all information about the situation first. My pessimism has led to me developing the skills necessary to mostly rely on myself in any given situation.
I gained situational awareness, one of the minds greatest gifts. 'I spy' lifetime achievement award. I always know where I am and who and what is going on around me. It has both kept me out of trouble and saved other people in civilian life.
I gained a world view wildly different from most peoples. I do not live in ignorance. I learned evil exists, and is incredibly real. I learned that simply removing the chances of consequences will turn seemingly decent human beings into savages capable of unspeakable things. Losing the ignorance has allowed me to prepare my mind and skills for these situations.
Me paying attention to the neighborhood is good for everyone. My neighbors have actually accidentally caught me observing them. I explain myself and most are thankful somebody keeps a look out. Its almost as good as having a cop around all the time.
Me not being able to purchase milk without being in a poorly written action movie always leaves me with a plan for any given situation. Fire, bad guy, whatever. I realize nothing will likely ever happen, but when it does, well, I won't be trapped in a store with a psychopath, he'll be trapped in there with me.
My inability to feel any sort of excitement keeps me calm. What's the worst thing you can add to a group of worked up excited people in a bad situation or a situation that is about to turn bad? One more worked up excited person.
My broken body has taught me how to suffer. There is nothing you are capable of that can keep me down or out. Nothing you can say to me will make me give up. Any and all attempts at dissuading me from doing or accomplishing something will be met with fierce resistance the likes of which you have never witnessed. And after I have accomplished my task, I will be better at it than you, I will make more money at it than you, and I will make sure everyone knows it by my actions alone. I will shake your hand and thank you for the motivation, just to rub it in. You may not like this, you may lay hands on me. You may get 10 other friends to help you lay hands on me. You had better kill me, because when you get tired and give up, I'm going to get up, and I'm going to crush all of you with a violence of action you thought impossible.
Most importantly though,
I lost friends.
But I gained the most important relationships of my life. I hear you rolling your eyes from here, but nothing comes close to the bond formed by men who sacrifice and bleed together. To this day we are still in touch and would die for each other at the drop of a hat, for even the most trivial of reasons. You will never have friends like that, no matter what you believe.
Put me in a time machine, zap me back to the day I joined, leave me me standing in front of the building with no consequences for altering my path in life. I would walk inside, raise my right hand, and take my oath. I would then train harder, become more vigilant, and sacrifice more of my mind and body in hopes that doing so would prevent the loss of one less friend.