Redditors in relationships, what's the strangest thing you do with your significant other that you wouldn't tell your friends? [NSFW]

I made a pact with an ex that on pain of death we had to passionately open mouth kiss each other whenever we heard the word Broccoli. (She cooked a roast one frisky sunday and it started from there, and fuck you it's a valid word!) No-one else knew about it until it started to happen in front of friends and even strangers a few times. We started to take it seriously, right up to the first time I met her parents... and later that night fucking masterchief was on the telly and you guessed it, Broccoli. We still did it, with me trying to explain the joke to her confused father before his daughter's lips had left my face. That one wasn't awkward at all. We took it VERY seriously from then on, as I felt she had raised the bar. There was the odd occasion where we would say it jokingly or we were fooling around, and leaving Broccoli out became a 'sexy time' symbol lol... but we didn't wear it out or use it for leverage over each other, because it's a really rare word for people to say and it had already produced some moments I knew were worthy of one day telling some strangers on the internet lol. It became a problem whenever we went out to eat, especially considering she actually really liked broccoli lol.

We had a huge fight one day whilst at the supermarket (to the point where she was walking ten feet in front of me level fight, seriously girls where does that 'angry speed' come from?) She walked past this guy, and then turned back to me rolling her eyes, walked right up to me, snogged me angrily for a good ten seconds, pulled back then punched me literally as hard as she could in the stomach and winded me, then walked back off. The guy walking past had an amazing look on his face and as he walked past I saw in his hands, you guessed it, Broccoli. She continued to be in a mood all the way home, but I always respected her for that one. Although technically, the word was never said, which I protest to until this very day. Rules are Rules bitch!

She's married now and we've both moved well on and don't even have any means of contact, but there's not a doubt in my mind that if we passed each other in the street tomorrow, or even 20 years from now, and someone just happened to say Broccoli, we would kiss.

I hope a 'Broccoli merchant' one day reads this and learns of the love he is spreading to young idiots ;)

/r/AskReddit Thread