I struggled with anxiety and depression for many, many years. I went far too long without help, and by the time I got help I was so far into my struggles that it really had consumed me. I think my biggest mistake in my recovery, and maybe what had prolonged it for so long, is that I relied too heavily on my medicine as a quick fix. I was taking antidepressants for probably 3 years at this point, was binge drinking, getting into emotionally abusive relationships, all the while NOT actually trying to learn strategies to cope with my illness. It was hard at my age (college0 to realize that I had different needs than other people, and it was okay to put myself first in order to get better.

The turning point for me was when I was stashing liters of vodka under my bed, and drinking and getting high every night to fall asleep. My anxiety and contempt with myself and others was so bad, and I had wasted the past 3 years just skating by while on my meds, not ever giving myself the time & respect to really figure out what was going on with me, and how I could help myself. So I ditched it all. I got out of a relationship that revolved around substance abuse (it wasn't necessarily a smooth transition-- I think my worst point was actually a few months after the breakup) and just re-focused myself. I started from scratch, and did what I needed to do to get better. Studied like crazy, surrounded myself with family, and rediscovered some passions of mine that ended up being super therapeutic. But, it never really goes away. I still struggle with anxiety and days where I feel emotionally down, but I've accepted these things about myself rather than ignored them, and am getting better and better at coping.