My ex husband and I have some fucked up karma or something w each other. He is incredibly abusive and I am extremely independent. I always knew he was difficult and he did many awful and abusive things to me over the years but for whatever reasons continued to get back together. I blame myself for much of it. I should've walked away the first time he called me stupid. I never should've taken him back after he broke up w me. I definitely should never have stayed with him after he raped me and was physically abusive to me but by the tone things were that bad it had been 7 years and much of my adult life. Next thing I knew I was pregnant and engaged. He promised never to do anything like that again and things seemed to be getting better. As the wedding approached he tried to back out and regrettably I did not let him. I was 6 moths pregnant and terrified and embarrassed. But marrying him was a terrible mistake. He became 10x as abusive at one point assaulting me w broken glass leaving me w a painful scar and severed tendon. He would slap me awake causing me insomnia and constantly berate and belittle me. We are now neck deep in one of the worst most nasty congested divorces I've ever heard of less than w years part vows. We have a child, a house, and a dvpo and he's done everything from slash my tires to assaulting my mother. Its been a nightmare.

I look back on when I thought 7 years was too long a time to let go and I shake my head. Try 10 and anyways we still didn't work out only now it's so much worse than it would've been. Only now I have my awesome daughter who unfortunately probably will never get to know her father that well because he's violated his protection order soon many tines he may soon go to jail. We will likely never have any kind of functioning parental relationship and I have already accepted the fact that if he doesn't go to jail I will have to take our daughter and leave town or he will kill us and there is nothing anyone can do about it until he actually tries.