Honestly, I still struggle sometimes with trust, and it's been three years. He actually cheated twice, two years apart. We're both in our 30s.

Not that it's ever an excuse, but I understand the reasons behind why he did. They're complex, to be sure, and stem back to childhood abuse and neglect. He finally started to see a therapist last year, and that's gone a long way toward not only helping him deal with his issues, but helping me trust that he was dealing with them.

And I've had my own issues that have broken his trust in me in other ways. Not in regards to cheating, but with other behaviors that I've seen a therapist to work hard on dealing with so that I don't do things anymore that break his trust in me.

He normally logs out of all accounts immediately when he's done. I try not to let it bother me, but I have had a tendency to snoop. Justified, but not necessarily ok. It's been at least a year since I've snooped, if not more. Never found anything inappropriate, so that helped my trust, but I still worry, especially when I feel like he's falling into some of the same emotional patterns he'd had.

Today I went onto our computer, and saw he'd left his email logged in but not open (just that Google was logged in with his email.)

I immediately logged out without even thinking about it. Like, split second reaction. Then I stopped, and honestly, I wish I hadn't logged him out. I wish I'd had that opportunity, no matter how small, to snoop. But it's not fair to him. He's been great lately, and not back into his old patterns, and if I don't trust him, I need to talk with him rather than trying to go around him. Or I need to leave.

We've been together for seven years now. They haven't been easy years, and I know the dark days aren't all behind us, because he will always struggle with his depression, and I'll always struggle with my anger. But honestly, it's been worth it. I'm proud of him for how far he's come and how much he's grown in dealing with his issues, and I'm proud of me for the same thing. We've grown together, and we've grown happier, and we've become better partners to each other because of it.

I can't read tea leaves--I have no idea if we'll still be together in 10, 20, 50 years. But I think we will, because at our core, we love each other, and we're committed to communicating and to making our relationship work.

He truly is my best friend, and I am so amazingly lucky to have him. As long as he wants to stay with me, we'll keep walking our paths together.