I'll give some perspective.

I was the other guy, the one she cheated on her husband with. We were very serious...well I was anyways. We had become very close and it felt like it was going to be it. I felt like I was doing the right thing for me and told her I would stand by her through her divorce.

She had a young son who she brought around me frequently who I had feeling was for too.

She asked for time to sort it out and I took a job out of province to give that to both of us ( more of a career move).

While I'm gone I get a text from one of her friends saying she was going home with another guy from work after a Christmas party. That night she didn't respond to any texts . I asked her about it and she got really strange.

Then she said maybe I wasn't the right one and we called it off. Then she tried to get me back for months until I gave her the silent treatment and didn't respond.

When I was ready I called her to tell her what I thought. She cried and i cried and it was very tough but I had to make my peace.

She has since had a second child with her husband. Other then that I don't know what's going on in her life. I need it to be that way. I haven't forgiven myself since and it's impossible to forget that feeling of love I had for her before I left. Nobody cares about the other guy normally but man...

If you are ever in the situation I have been in, with someone promising you their heart when it belongs to someone else...do not ever put yourself in that position.

Emotionally iv become a clockwork orange. A mechanical man. I get anxiety from time to time but my heart and mind is just confused. Like waking up half asleep. Don't cheat and don't allow someone to cheat you.

Tl:DR Love sucks sometimes.