I was never allowed to go over to people's houses from kindergarten to senior year in highschool. Our house was always a mess so I could never invite people over. I wasn't really allowed to do anything aside from school and sports. One parent somehow always worked at whatever school I was currently attending and they were both very involved in the sports I participated in. This made making good friends very difficult, I was cool with most everyone but never really a part of a group or anything because I could never do things outside of school. I sorta stopped asking if I could and just accepted it, and wasn't being invited to much anyway, as I wasn't part of any group. I remember they would always get mad at me for being very private, I think I was just because they were already so involved in everything. And I don't really think getting mad is the best way to get someone to open up. I left the state to go to college right after I graduated hs and got a dead end job to be financially independent. But I still do not know how to make friends. I get ridiculously nervous / anxious I guess, I have a habit of overthinking things and feeling I'm not wanted. I find myself saying something and hating what I said as soon as I say it. I think people think I don't like them, but that's not true. I just don't know how to interact with them, so I don't. I've been away from "home" for four years now, didn't end up graduating... Never had a gf, shit, never really had friend. Working a different dead end job now, but everything seems so pointless. I work a shit job so I can pay rent and live here to work a shit job for another month. I don't know how to get my life on track, and I don't know who to ask. And I probably wouldn't ask them even if I knew who they were. And I don't really know what "on track" is, I have no idea what I want. Very little idea of who I am. Maybe I'll stick around to find out. Probably not.