I was bullied relentlessly in my first couple of years in middle school, and had 2 older brother 8+ years my senior who basically taught me to always be ready for an attack (Pink Panther style). They thought it was part of being a man and they were doing me a favor. I was held back in 7th grade (I had moved to the US from Australia, I scored high on placement exams and skipped a grade and was put into AP classes, but I hated homework so I quickly fell behind). My parents moved me to private school, and in this summer I also went from 5'4 to 5'9-5'10 (My knees went through hell, real growing pains).
Anyways, i showed up from a public Houston school, to a private school filled with sheltered rich kids, with my newly found physical might. I felt like I was finally the big brother! I was the biggest kid in school and everybody noticed and listened to me, so I immediately began abusing this newfound power, giving people random deadlegs and deadarms, as had always been done to me. I grew up with the people I looked up to the most doing this to me, so I assumed it was just a normal thing. One day I scare a kid coming into the locker room as my class was getting out, didnt do anything physically, but I said something intimidating like "Get outta here you scrub". And a teacher pulled me aside as i left and basically told me that I was a known bully, and she wasnt going to let my shit slide any longer.
I was shocked. In my mind, I was just interacting with people in the same way anybody bigger than me had every interacted with me in my life. Since that very moment, 12 years ago, Ive made a conscious effort, every second of every day, to try and not make people feel intimidated.
Its led to social anxiety, I got bullied to shit in High School, even though I was bigger than the other kids, I simply chose not to react to aggresive interactions, which led to people thinking I was weird or whatever. I had a few moments where I snapped, after being pushed, never came to blows, but more or less grabbing someone by the scruff of their shirt and saying "Fuck off".
To this day though, what affects me the most was that teacher coming at me, and making me realize my actions were making people feel something bad. That was never my intention...but it really woke me up to the fact that, intentions aren't the be all, end all. Maybe too much, Im starting to realize. Social anxiety, to this day, is omnipresent in my life. I dont want to hurt anything. But living your life based off of who you may or may not offend, is no way to live life, either.