Redditors with diagnosed or suspected personality disorders (borderline, narcissistic, etc.), what really goes through your head? When you're having a noxious interaction with someone, are you saying what you're thinking or are you wishing you could say something else? [Serious]

I was originally diagnosed as being as sociopath but it has later been revealed as an adult that I am a psychopath.

I don't form attachment to people or things, but can enjoy them in the moments. If it's gone... it's gone. That is it. There is only one thing I grew attached, yet can live without.

Everyday I am entirely conscious of all my actions as well as my emotions. Everyone thinks I'm an incredibly happy and kind person but that is what I have learned to represent myself as. In reality I have very little care or empathy towards others.

I am a "plotter". I set my relationships, experiences, opportunities, etc up for my own long term benefit. It used to be very malicious but now, while still selfish, I am more aware of the damage done to others and choose to avoid that. (Mostly because I've learned how burning bridges can negatively affect me later on.)

I LOVE interacting with people. I thrive off of it. Although many times it is believed I only love it to see if I can morph people or get them to like me or do things for me. I don't have much of a moral compass (but can make the choice to behave and fight urges) and enjoy getting others wrapped around my fingers.

The scary thing about psychopaths is that we observe, we learn, we are well educated, and we mimic. You will rarely know you've encountered a true psychopath. A sociopath can be perceived usually. Psychopaths are instead well adapted into society by time they're adults and blend in. Hell, we blend in better because we can choose to be someone others like.

My interactions with people have me constantly thinking and in the present. I adjust my tone, attitude, behavior, mannerisms, etc depending on who or the group I am talking/spending time with. It is calculated. And when I fail, I file that experience away and learn more about how I can be better the next time.

I am often very quiet when first met with until I can pick up on social cues of the person/group I am with. A "warming up" period if you will. I am EXCELLENT at reading people. It is a scary trait to be armed with, and can be abused easily.

If you have any specific questions feel free to ask but that's all I can wrap up on the top of my head. I don't run around sharing my disorder but if I'm in the discussion with someone I will usually inform them about it. Funny thing is, being a psychopath is reflected so negatively and misrepresented that most assume I'm full of it anways.

/r/AskReddit Thread