I have awaited this thread for so long...

Not creepy, so much as hilarious, but I’ve started keeping notes and including the date/time of everything he says. (PSA he NEVER talks about turtles, except consistently in his sleep.)

(9/11 - 1am) ‘Sharks.’ What ‘It’s how we figure out regular fishes from regular fish.’ And asleep again

(10/19 4am) Ohhh, my GOD yeah... that’s good

Do you know when the potatoes are gonna be done? Thanks

(10/25 2:50am) (Panicked) Ooh, ahh, oh. Turtles. Boop!

(10/29 4:19am) Zambonis. Holy zambonis, ya know what I mean?

(10/30 3:41am) singing Yeah, yeah. Chickens, chickens, cows.

(11/9 4am) Where’s soccer? (Me- over there, move over there) and the turtles?? (Yes over there) Oh okay. Mmm.

(11/18 3:15qm) Loudly: Uh huh. Uh huh??? Softly: Go Packs

(12/8 11:13pm) -Naaaahh, turtles, stop fighting. -You’re a narc. Babe, you’re a narc. Are you telling on me? You’re so sexy when you tell on me. -Ahh, the cops. (Something inaudible) You’re like a chewy chips ahoy cookie, you’re so smart. You’re the best cookie. I don’t care, the best cookie, don’t say otherwise or I’ll eat diapers. You don’t believe I’ll eat diapers. -Turtles are attacking the place, damn fuckers. They be trippin, they’re running everywhere. They crazy man, running everywhere, damn they silly as hell!!! Then they come up and be ringing the worship center door is asking ‘you open?’ NO, you know a locked door? Amirite? Yeah damn! -Hey, I’m gonna boop you. Think I can’t? I’m an employee here! (In English accent) hey, what u doin bout that? (Normal) yeah that’s what I thought!

12/29/18 1:14am softly that’s why the snakes eat the turtles.