This kind of hits close to home what how my mother was...although there are some major differences. My mom died about 2 (going on 3) years ago now and she died from what I believe may of been an asthma induced heart attack (though my sister opted to not have an autopsy done).

The similarities between my mom was that she just made some awful choices for myself and my siblings. One of the worst being that after my sisters were molested, she essentially moved us back in with their victimizer. To be honest, I don't think I ever forgave her for that, because it just seemed like the ultimate betrayal of trust and selfishness. She was also extremely judgmental and unloving as a parent. I grew up with some real pent up anger towards her, and eventually cut her out of my life around the time I was 25.

Fast forward to about 7 years later, and I still wasn't talking to her. I contemplated reaching out to her and just making friendly conversation. Thinking that maybe I should try to close this chapter in my life of feeling anger towards her. Except for some reason I just didn't do it, and the next thing I knew she's gone. It's still surreal to me that it happened and I never got to explain to her why I felt so betrayed and angry at her. I'm not so sure if it would've gotten through (she wasn't very good at listening), but at this point in my life, who knows.

After her funeral, I remember talking to my siblings and we could all pretty much agree that she likely had some post trauma issues; childhood abuse, marital abuse, mental instability. She just never got the right kind of treatment, unfortunately. It's tough to admit this, and also tough to be honest about the person she truly was to us. I'm not glad she died, but I am glad that she is at peace and I wonder sometimes if her condition would've likely gotten worse with old age. One can never know these things.