Well, the past couple days have been disappointing. Something out of my control happens to ruin an opporunity with someone. It actually makes me laugh, because something good and long awaited for could've happened only to be ruined by something I didn't see coming that caused a misunderstanding. :)

And it just made me think of what life has been the past few years or so. How embarassing and futile it's been. All those dark periods I've had to forget so I don't get overwhelmed by the totality of the pain that's come my way. And it isn't worth it, I'm broken. Nothing will get better.

Sadly, there isn't an effective suicide method available to me.