Also, i think it's better to wait to tell someone. It's healthier and is a sign of someone who has their illness more under control because they don't need to have it be the subject of their first conversation and they don't need to let it rule their life

Absolutely with you on this one. I have noticed the last few years that there's no middle ground between "lets just not talk about it mental illness doesn't exist LALALALALALALALA" and it being brought up in your literal first conversation with a person.

That said, there is a huge difference between rolling something out gently over the course of getting to know a person and being open when explicitly asked like OP is talking about. I do think that mental illness, especially when it's severe, needs to be discussed properly and fully prior to things getting serious. It's not a fair thing to spring on someone only after you've got them invested.

To be clear; I don't think that folks with mental illness or any other disability should be disallowed from relationships. But I also don't think that those who are unable or unwilling to deal with those mental illnesses or disabilities when they know about them upfront (as opposed to when they develop over time) should be called out as being trashy people - they are simply people who know their own limits and abilities and desires from a relationship.