Alabama - Birthplace of the Stereotype
Alaska - See Your Breath 22 Hours a Day
Arizona - If you come here, there will be that much more shade.
Arkansas - Arkancame, Arkanconquered
Colorado - Mile High, Get it?
Connecticut - Not quite New York, but definitely Not Jersey
Delaware - First!
Florida - We Attract Characters
Georgia - The Good Part of the South
Hawaii - Because 7 stars by 7 stars looked too boring.
Idaho - Potatoes and that one Joke
Indiana - Complaining about Iowa's hardships since forever
Iowa - America's Canada
Kansas - The South of the Midwest
Kentucky - Drunk Horses
Louisiana - The South of the South
Maine - How about Maine?
Maryland - 4.4/5 Flag Review on Metacritic
Massachussetts - It's Got Boston
Michigan - Industry Welcome
Minnesota - Aggressive Politeness
Mississippi - Free Thinking and Prosperous
Missouri - Two S's, One R
Montana - The Echo State
Nebraska - Mind-Numbing Flatness produces Lady Gaga
Nevada - If it weren't for the hookers, we'd be Nebraska 2.
New Hampshire - What Have They Been Up To?
New Jersey - Shouldn't it be Old Jersey by now?
New Mexico - AMC - Something More
New York - Only We Can Hate It
North Carolina - The Good One, I think
North Dakota - We only exist to make it easier to find Mount Rushmore
Ohio - Fuck we love astronauts
Oklahoma - Texas's Grandma
Oregon - Come see our new Portland!
Pennsylvania - History happened here a bunch
Rhode Island - Best Mayor to Governor Ratio
South Carolina - Come to South Carolina
South Dakota - Thanks, landmark
Tennessee - Confuse us with Kentucky
Texas - Texas
Utah - The Mormon Mecca
Vermont - Maine's beauty, Iowa's politeness
Virginia - Because Fuck You Washington - By Oregon
West Virginia - Really? Virginia needed a split?
Wisconsin - The Midwest's Pride, not Joy
Wyoming - Because of the Metric System.